Posted on May 25 2017
One of the biggest things I’ve taken away from both having a baby and booking myself up to the eye balls for the last 4 years is that “feeling” like creating is only a small part of the picture. Yes there’s those magical moments when you feel so in the pocket that you smash out something that completely hits the nail on the head. It encapsulates everything you were feeling and you’re elated for days (maybe longer depending on how brilliant you are). The rest of the time it’s kind of a confusing, monotonous, sometimes hard grind.
Creating as often as possible is like exercising a muscle. It gets stronger and you find it easier to sit down and create something- even within very short periods of time. I now have small windows to create and I manage to get a heap done because I no longer faff around and question what I feel like doing. Yes there is a bit of that- I don’t ignore my intuition completely, I just ignore the voice that throws problems up as a thwarting mechanism. This voice is especially loud when you’re tired which for me is 100% of the time right now (but I think Vital Greens might save me). Just before falling pregnant I experienced long bouts of feeling very confused about what to create. The many voices of the commercial artist accompanied me to work everyday. I worked through it and I now have a fairly clear internal map of how things sit with me regarding what sells and what I enjoy painting- sometimes there’s a cross over, sometimes it could not be more different.
Likewise when I was super busy (and also practicing yoga 5 days a week at 6am- this may have contributed to the epic productivity of those years) I had little time to think about why I shouldn’t create the things I had in my head. I simplified the process and just got on with it. I do think there is a fine balance with staying in motion all the time and knowing when to sit back and watch movies and listen to music and let everything sink in. My old drawing teacher used to call it “filling the well”.
Anyway the point is sometimes it’s magic and often it doesn’t feel so smooth- it feels more like work. But ALL of it is necessary. You can’t get those magical moments without wading through all the bullshit in between. I think the key is to find some twisted way of enjoying the bullshit.